Posts Tagged With: family

DETERMINATION

So yesterday’s post was pretty depressing.

Don’t worry guys, I’m back to myself again, as far as I know. I have decided to deal with the problem by grabbing it by the horns and violently thrashing it back and forth like a shark until it slowly bleeds to death.

Okay, maybe more like a puppy with a sock puppet, to give you a better idea. Because, judging from my skill in kickboxing and Taekwondo, I’m about as likely to beat someone up as the moon is to fall into the sun.

WAIT WHAT IS THAT A ZUTARA REFERENCE.

Moving on…

So yeah, I’ve cheered myself up again. Maybe this has something to with going to Laura’s communion today…?

I wore a black-and-white skirt, a white sleeveless blouse thing with a fan/shell/curtain fold design on the back, black flats, and a necklace that the Grandmother made me wear (hah!). I also had tights. Feh. The package said they were for women who weigh “66/78 kg”. Yeah right. Let me crap in your mouth, why don’t you? (common Spanish insult… haha).

Okay, so I have to admit that the communion, despite me being super nervous about it and Marian fraying her nerves about it for a long time, was, as a whole, enjoyable. The religious church part was uncomfortable and cold, and I somehow didn’t feel the churchliness that I do when we go to Kensington every Christmas for their Christmas special thing. I possibly felt more churchly-togetherness at Youmacon during the Vic Mignogna panel. Because everyone was screaming in joy at the same time and it was just this whole feeling of unity and togetherness and love and excitement… But whatever, the choir was pretty good. One thing I dwelled on for a while in the church was the fact that Marian had reserved a bank near the front for Laura’s immediate family, and when I followed her there she told me I had to find a seat that wasn’t reserved, i.e. all the way at the back. That hurt a bit, realizing once again that I’m apparently not considered part of the “family”.

I managed to swallow that though.

The part after the church, however, was way more enjoyable. We went to a very fancy hotel and had lunch there. For appetizers someone had rented us this little open-inside area with loungy lounge chairs and huge televisions and general luxuriousness. Everyone was walking around, talking to all the other family members, and servers threaded their way around us at regular intervals, carrying trays with cheese-cream-filled-cones, slices of cured ham, tiny fried fish, croquettes, fried calamari, larger fried fish, teeny bread-things with tomato paste… in general, delicious things. I also forced myself to introduce myself to the older kids that I didn’t know, and after extreme awkwardness in the beginning it was pretty nice. One of the boys was from Sevilla (I could tell by his accent; Sevillans don’t pronounce the ‘s’) talked to me for quite a while, which I appreciated. There was a two small incidents with Luis, one of which included broken glass and wine all over the floor, and the other being him getting feisty with his cousin, which resulted in two insulted, sulking little boys with rumpled shirts. Which was very amusing to the rest of the, erm, non-adults.

The food we had after, in a big white fancy dining room, was delicious. I got to sit at the table with Laura and her two female cousins, as well as all the little kids (as usual…). But I did get the adult food. Which means I got vegetable pure instead of spaghetti, some kind of fish, and a hunk of beef. It was yums. Also, there was scrumtious and chocolatey and just mmmm.

Even after that was enjoyable. I spent a while at one of the adult tables talking to some random relative, which was fun and made me feel happy. She really seemed interested in my parents and why I was in Spain and such. At the very end, Luis, Laura, their various older cousins and I prowled the rest of the hotel, where we eventually found a little girl playing “River Flows in You” by Yiruma on a piano. I also attempted to play, but I haven’t practiced in forever and I didn’t have any sheets so that didn’t turn out too successfully. The little girl was super cute and also from Sevilla, and we talked about the piano and how cold it was in Madrid right now and how comfy the hotel was and general small-talk.

When we got home, I scrubbed off what little makeup I had on, extracted my legs from the tights and the skirt, and proceeded to dress myself in jeans and a T-Shirt. Such bliss…

Oh, and I’ve also spoken a bunch to Luis and Laura in English, both today and yesterday.

I am going to freaking take this challenge.

I will prevail.

Nothing can stop me.

I will become the badass multitasker that I have to be.

Anyone else want to add fuel to my fire? You’re all welcome to…

MAWKMAWKMAWKMAWKMAWKMAWK GRAWWWWWWWW

*hundreds scream and cheer as paints own face with the blood of enemies*

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Humdrum

Yeah, stuff LIFE happened. I don’t really remember everything, so…

We went to see a kind of Christmas Choir thing that Grandmother is in. It was awesome, for me at least, because I have left my childish ways of fidgeting all over the place and have started to like choral music, probably in part due to feeling that awesome feeling of togetherness I get whenever we go to church on Christmas Day (Eve?) and they start playing “Angels We Have Heard on High” or whatever the song is called (the only lyrics I know are “GLOOOOOOOOOOOHRRRRIIAAAA! In Excelsis Deo!” ) and everyone in the church is singing that same song and there’s this whole together breath of air before the GLORIA part and it’s just awesome and probably in part due to Two Steps From Hell, which I really don’t feel the need to explain. Anyway, the choir thing was nice, and the director was a lady from Ohio, which I noticed because her Spanish had an accent. I may not be able to tell when I have an accent speaking Spanish, but I could tell she had one.

We also went to the “El Rey Leon”, or “The Lion King” as a theater piece. I don’t really know what to say. It was surprising and delightful and poked at the edges of my comfort zone somehow. It was also in Spanish, so the songs were a bit difficult to decipher, but the rest of the text was pretty okay. There were also a lot of shirtless men on the stage, which for SOME UNKNOWN REASON made me think of one of my friends back home… yeah, she knows who she is, silly bacon-maniac that she is. Anyway, the play was pretty cool, but didn’t have as awesome merchandise as “Wicked” did.

This week we don’t have school on Thursday, because of something called Constitución. This also means that Friday is also free. YAY. Let’s see if I can finally figure out where a store that sells big shoes is. Or possibly go to the movie theater to watch “Rise of the Guardians” because for some reason I haven’t gone yet. Oh yes, I remember now; it’s because my teachers decided to give us HEAPS of homework, for whatever reason. Yaay for heaps of homework!

That and also I have to present something for Naturwissenschaften, which literally translates to Nature Physics, but isn’t half as interesting as it sounds.

Hm. I think I may have sort of put a wall up between myself and one of my classmates, the one who makes epic cupcakes and has invited me to her house several times. It was last Friday, I believe, because I sort of freaked out during… I don’t remember what class it was! Oh wait, I possibly freaked out twice, I don’t know exactly. Anyway, I explained it to another teacher, who said some actually pretty accurate stuff about it, and then recommended I ask the… secretary (I have no idea if that’s what she is…) about psychologists and stuff.

I don’t remember what happened in what order anymore, sorry. I went to the bathroom to try and calm down by leaning against the cold stall walls. Once inside I of course started crying again, just because apparently. I waited until everyone went to class (we only have THIS BATHROOM to use during break. Well, we have another one but it doesn’t count because it has three toilets and is tiny) and was going to calm myself down by using up all the toilet paper and possibly flushing the toilet to watch the water spin. (Seems calming…) Before I really got a chance to calm down all the way, two girls from my class entered the now empty bathroom (save me, of course) and went, “Rebecca?”

And I went, “NO” because that’s what you do when you’re me.

Of course they didn’t fall for that and started talking to me through the stall door. They asked some questions, and in my confused mind my only thought was “Tell the truth”. And so I did. At least, whatever it was I could make out from my muddled brain.

I think I said something along the lines of, “I sort of feel alienated from you because you’ve been with the same class for a while and everyone knows everyone else, and it’s sort of difficult for me to find a place in there. I know it’s not really your fault, it’s mostly just me.” I’m still confused as to what exactly goes on mentally when I freak out, but there was a whole bunch of other stuff that I don’t know how to say.

So, this brutal honesty possibly made one of them (goodness I’m so careful with names) distance herself from me. Or maybe she just has been having a rough time. It sort of seems like it, she frustrates over English and other classes, switches between the houses of her parents every month or so, and has to put up with the 19:5 ratio of boys to girls in the class (or whatever the ratio is). Maybe it’s not because she’s lost interest in me, maybe it’s because she has her own problems. I would know, because I have so many of my own. Some serious, like my freak outs, and some completely stupid but still draining. Pff. I like her though, because she can do things I can’t, like live with a big dog. She’s also really pretty, but that could be just because I think most girls are pretty.

ALL THE GIRLS IN MY CLASS ARE FREAKING PRETTY LIKE I DON’T EVEN

Ah. Today a package came for me, and I was all excited because I like getting packages, until I saw what it was. FOUR Advent Calendars filled with Milka chocolate. And I felt like this —> ;__;

I’m not sure how to feel about this. On the one hand, I appreciate that my parents sent me something so lovely I can share with the whole family here… on the other hand, I was trying to motivate myself to get Taylor Lautner abs (shush, I know I’m a girl) and this was just like slapping me in the belly with a big, “LOLNOPE”.

Anyway, we already have Advent calendars… the kids keep wanting me to try some of their chocolate and I’m like NO.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgOylld7GbY&feature=player_detailpage#t=36s Look what I found, it’s pretty amusing.

“Gallinas! SON FELICES!”

Um derp, tomorrow theater, let’s see how that goes.

Bye.

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